she was so not down for the gang bang
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize