Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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