This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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