TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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