I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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