I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize