The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
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I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
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I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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