If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
