New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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