I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
