not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
