Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
