two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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