Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
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maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
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You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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