it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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