College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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