you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize