Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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