hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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