I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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