Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
