I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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