I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
