is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize