i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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