What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
