you traded sex for a burrito?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Operation Purity has been aborted
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
