sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
