Please, let me fuck your mom
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
