I am full of burrito and curiosity
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
