if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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