im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
