why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
