it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
