it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
