apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
