we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
