If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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