Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
