i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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