This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
there is glitter all over my balls
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
