Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
