i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
