i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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