I've blown a few things in my day
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
