I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
