I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
