I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize