No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you win again, gameday.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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