And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
