Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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