i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
