I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
