nut hugger
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Randomize
