i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize