Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
