Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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