Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
