Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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