so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
