she smelled like a LAN party
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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