the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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