we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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