lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
