I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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