All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
