i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
