No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I think people are normalizing furries
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Your penis caused this!
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
